So, the everchanging plan has changed yet again. This time majorly, also not by choice. I have the economy to thank for that. And I really thought I was feeling no effects. Oh well, que sera, sera.
Goodbye
until next fall &
Hello
&
Arnold Bennett
No loan for Abbey, and that means no BU for her either this year. Financial aid went down, need went up, tuition and housing went up and that all just goes into a big pile of non-ability-to-afford-anything-without-a-loan-ness. They weren't kidding when they said college would be expensive. "Semester-Fall 2009 Current balance: $30,205.00" Unless I can somehow manage that by August 13th, I'm staying in Kansas for the year and going to JCCC as well as Wright Business College. Maybe it's for the better...for now? Looking at it this way, I don't have to worry about quitting track because of no time. When I go back, I will have time. I can get classes out of the way that I really need for cheap, $64 a credit hour, aka a full semesters worth of a class for about $210, which is what...one lecture out of one week out of one month out of one semester at BU? Good deal for the pocket for sure. JCCC is a great school, too. It's one of the top junior colleges in the nation! I'll also get to receive not a CNA, but a surgical technician certificate. Then I can go back.
Emerson
I'm missing a whole year in Boston, but getting a surgical technician certificate (and getting pre-med stuff out of the way minus orgo II). By doing that, I can work in the operating room, starting wages $18.00/hr, real hands on experience, knowledge that will help me and interest me, get me through a few classes in med school with ease and give me something great to do with my spare time. The program is 3 semesters of 15 weeks each, consecutively (no Thanksgiving or winter break), and I can work ahead. The last 10 week chunk of the last semester is an externship, aka working with a surgeon. THAT means that next summer I'll be certified, be able to work full time through the whole summer, earn a lot of money and be able to pay for school. Then when I go back, I can get a part time job at a local hospital and do that there and be happy and be able to take a smaller course load, focusing just on psych classes and maybe biochem or microbio here and there :P.
I am losing my perfect plan though. And the fun I was going to have this year with everyone, especially my roommate, Sarah. We were going to do all sorts of fun stuff neither of us really do...girl nights, just us going out and man-hunting, sunday morning breakfasts at the bagel shop in Kenmore square, etc. Also, getting to know and talk with the people on the pre-med advising committee and some professors. That's the part that's really going to affect me negatively. I need to make close relationships with those people so I can apply to medical school, D.O. or M.D., and have not good, but great recommendations. I'm hopeful that will all work itself out though. A little more effort, some heavy duty elbow grease, and communication will do it.
‘Things don’t change. You change your way of looking, that’s all.’
Carlos Castaneda
Technically nothing is really changed. I mean, I'm still pre-med, I'm still getting my stuff done that I want to get done, still going to be at BU for 3 years (although...there's a break between 1 and 2), still planning on being a surgeon, still going to get a job in a hospital this year, and doing more. Nothing has changed, just the way I'm getting there, the way I see the path I'm on.
‘It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.’
Alan Cohen
At first I figured I'd be freaked out. And I was. And I am. But...I'm dealing. I know that after this year, I will be 19, making more money than a lot of adults, having a job that's in the place I want to be, getting experience I need, being held accountable for people's lives, and having fun. I'll get to see so many cool things, that yeah, maybe I'd get to see if I follow my uncle around in his surgeries, but not to the same extent. I'll get to be in the thick of it. Touching it. Sewing it up. Pulling things apart. Sucking up blood and guts, and knowing everything there is to know about the OR. What an adventure it will be.
Of course, I'm going crazy at the though of probably only seeing those people I love in Boston once or twice between now and next summer. Not doing track. Not being in Boston. Not being able to walk anywhere, take the T, go to any state in the surrounding area in just an hour, or go to the beach. It's going to be incredibly sad and hard, but I'll still be able to visit. It's not forever, after all.
It will take a lot of courage to keep going, because my plan is completely screwed up now. It's nothing I expected to happen. But that's life. Things can be going the way you expect, down to every last detail, but at the drop of a hat things can just *EEEEEEEEUUURRRRRRRRRR* (that's the sound of screeching tires, if you didn't catch that, by the way).
I'm going to enjoy the year. I'll get to do stuff that is actually relevant to my life. Yes, it's a detour. No, it's not a road block. Yes, I'll be stuck in Kansas, where there's nothing to do compared to Boston. No, I won't be miserable. I'll be by the family, the friends, and be able to save up my money. And enjoy it while I'm doing it.
After all, I am the optimist, right?
